Desire is fundamental to hot sex. Without it, sex is a mere act as opposed to an experience. When you are teeming with desire and drunk with lust, your senses are heightened and your orgasmic response intensified.
– Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, Chapter 2 Desire And Seduction
The New Guide To Sensual Love
Canada’s most trusted sex and relationships expert is most likely, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly. The Toronto-based sexologist (Ph.D.), author and television personality travels the globe year-round to share her knowledge about the science of sex. Her advice is found thru several of her authored books, a regular podcast, live seminars, magazine articles and daytime television. I’ve always enjoyed following Jess thru several of her media outlets. Two years ago I had the chance to visit her seminar at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show in Vancouver, BC. It was there I bought this amazing little gem of a book and read it to entirety shortly after. Nine chapters dive deep into the matters of sensual love and technique. And while only 2 out of 200 pages may refer to fantasy and role play, I believe that fantasy role-play encompasses all chapters of this book.
The first thing you will notice about this book is the amazing photography. Tastefully erotic images fill the pages in full colour and view. The visual representations well capture the sensual (and erotic) nature described within the chapters of this book. With such visually appealing imagery around every page, it’s hard not to stop reading.
The Science of Sex
Since the early studies of Willam Masters and Virginia Johnson, the human sexual response has been closely researched. Our physical and psychological response to intimacy is much more closely understood today than 60 years ago. And we continue to learn more about our sexual response with each passing study.
With this broader understanding of our sexual response, we as couples are better equipped to understand each other more intimately. Dysfunctions are overcome, traumas healed, and pleasure enhanced all thru scientific research, This chapter is loaded with great educational commentary. From erogenous zone pleasure maps to genital anatomy, the why and how of sex is explained.
Anticipation is often the hottest part of sex. When planning a vacation, the preparatory rituals (reading hotel reviews, shopping for resort wear, and scouting the top attractions) can be just as exciting as the vacation itself.
– Chapter 1 The Science of Sex
Desire and Seduction
One of my favourite chapters. This is where lovers can really get personal with each other. You won’t find any diagrams or charts here. It’s all about personal discovery and engagement with your lover. Here you will find mindful insight into flirting and seduction practices. Do you and your partner send naughty or romantic texts to each other? How about setting the mood? Candles? Do you make emotional connections during the day? We all wish for continued emotional and sexual connections with our life partner. Couples who incorporate desire and seduction into their relationship may find more success with staying connected.
If flirting sets the stage for establishing mutual sexual desire, seduction pulls back the curtain to reveal the enticing opening act. Accordingly, seduction is not a precursor to but rather an integral component of sex.
– Chapter 2 Desire And Seduction
The Tool Box Chapters
I like to think of the next few chapters as the Nuts and Bolts of sex. These chapters are chock-full of great information and skillsets for couples to learn and take into the bedroom. Here you can read about hot sex positions, lovemaking techniques, playing with toys and there’s even a whole chapter about orgasms. These chapters will give you the tools you need to be a sensually skilled lover.
Keep the Flame Burning
This final chapter of the book is where Dr. Jessica O’Reilly suggests several ways to spark up romance for long term couples. Keeping the passion alive is not always easy. Here we learn about the importance of good communication and loving support for another. Communication is very important for emotional and intimate connection. So try and make it fun if you can. Dr. Jess suggests several ways for couples to have fun while discussing sexual topics.
Once couples have shared their sexual and emotional desires together, it is time to turn those personal desires into sparks of passion. Sometimes a personal desire (like oral sex for example) may be easiest delivered thru a sexual fantasy or role-play. The flavour of fantasy during sex can engage the imagination and make new circumstances more likely to happen.
Role-playing offers the perfect solution to fuel the fire and ensure that your companionate love is accompanied by passionate love-making
Chapter 9 – Keep the Flame Burning
Sexual fantasies and role play are well-known methods of creating passion.
But there are numerous more side effects than just hot sex. What many couples are not aware of is the journey effects. The mere act of participating in a privately shared fantasy is an incredibly bonding experience. Preparing for a role-play scenario can add anticipation to seeing each other. And not to mention a whole bunch of appreciation for your partner. Whether the sex was good or bad, these journey effects of participating together in a shared goal will still bring you intimately close. You can read more about the journey effects of role-playing here…
I am in no way affiliated with Dr. Jess or her book sales. The quality of information alone is why I’m featuring this. Couples who would like some shared reading that will help bring sensual love back in the bedroom should definitely look this book up.