Personal Fantasies. Are They Fun?
A fantasy in your head is best indulged within the potentials of your imagination. That’s what it’s there for.
Personal fantasies are your own and they are not necessarily what should be explored as a couple. These fantasies are biased. And your partner may not have any such interest in participating in such biased activity.
Instead, look to your own personal DESIRES within your committed relationship and try to imagine ways to inhabit them. A flirty conversation, a sexy costume, maybe some teasing foreplay or a really hot sex position, spanking or kink. Whatever the desire is, a role-play scenario is one of many, many ways to bring them to light.
Rather than a personal fantasy, couples might prefer to use basic scenarios that are neutral in bias. These can be approached on a level playing field and participated together as a couple. Not a giver and taker. These bias neutral fantasies can be much more pleasurable to share.
Take a simple scenario such as two strangers on a blind date. Give it your own spin so that each partner can knowingly engage in their partner’s desires. That’s a sharing and caring way to explore intimacy.
And explore intimacy it DOES
Approaching a shared goal together is the first step to uncovering a more intimate connection with your partner. It can be exercise, diet, family time, date night and even role-play. Sharing this goal is an emotional bond.
Next, you will need to communicate with each other. Explain what you would enjoy doing together. How things could happen. What you would want to happen. Submitting these desires to your partner is a vulnerable step.
Thoughts of a planned fantasy scenario can let your imagination spin and the anticipation for the planned evening builds as you find each other blushing and giggling about the upcoming date.
Following through a shared fantasy together can be sexy and it can also be not. It is certainly awkward at times and it can also end in tears. One thing is for certain tho…
The bonds of intimacy come from the journey and not the success.
Because you have shared a bias neutral fantasy, there is much less anxiety or shame about the success of the fantasy. It can be really hot, or it can be a big laugh. Whatever the outcome, you have already made emotional connections a reality by sharing and participating in the goal.
With the hot date over and done, you will sense a great appreciation for your partner’s efforts. A secret rendezvous together, packed with intimate knowledge about each other. A new glimpse of your partner’s sexual and emotional DNA.
Most importantly from this experience, you have opened a line of communication that is fresh and also important to have. Communication before and after any shared goal is foundational for positive growth together. Knowing how to communicate effectively is essential to marriage longevity.
The only time that sharing your personal fantasies is a good idea is when you are both well experienced together and it impacts the relationship positively.
Fulfilling your partner’s personal fantasies is an incredibly personal gift. One that glues you together in emotional super-bonds. So long as the fantasies remain monogamous and emotionally positive.